Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
