I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
