im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
