I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
