College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
