so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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