Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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