i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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