I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
