I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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