Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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