The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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