I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
