the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
