brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize