You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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