You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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