Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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