ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
