I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sponge bath it is.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
