piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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