If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
