wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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