I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
