My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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