I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
