Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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