Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize