I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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