it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
