Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize