He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
