Ambien. No doubt about it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
