meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
