Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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