Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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