if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
