Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
