WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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