Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
