she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize