Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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