i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
