I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
