i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
