Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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