Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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