pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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