HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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