If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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