Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
