summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize