so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
