I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
