Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
