Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
